I’m not as nice as some people think.

I’m also not always a jerk, like some other people think.

I’m both.  Grumpy and Nice.

Mean and kind.

Rarely at the same time.

But frequently close together.

This weekend, someone parked in front of my driveway.

They were waiting for someone.

I could have ignored it because they were going to move.

And I didn’t have to go anywhere.

But I didn’t ignore it.

I went up to them and made them move.

I couldn’t let it go.

And I felt like a jerk almost immediately.

Shortly after that, I went for a run.

I kept replaying the event over and over.

Beating myself up for not being nicer.

And then I helped someone who needed a helping hand.

Literally.

I didn’t over think it.

It was the right thing to do.

I would have done it even if I hadn’t been a jerk earlier.

It’s part of who I am.

I wish I was nicer more of the time.

But at least I’m not a jerk all the time, either.

It’s good for my humility to realize that I can be a jerk as easily as a nice guy.

It might help me cut other people some slack when I think they’re being jerks.