When I was a teenager, I was terrified of rejection.

I was so scared of getting a “no”, that I never asked a question.

I never asked someone out.

I never asked for someone’s phone number.

My brother, David, got a girl’s phone number at the first dance he went to. And they went out for a few weeks.

He was four years younger than me. And he just asked.

I couldn’t do it.

I was in awe of my little brother.

I would go to dances with every intention of trying to meet someone. To have the nerve to ask them to dance. And then talk to them. And then, maybe, go on a date.

But the possibility of the dreaded “no” chilled me to the bone. I couldn’t take the chance.

I only saw the downside. The humiliation. The rejection. And it was always blown out of proportion in my imagination.

In my last year of high school, I went to one of the last dances of the year. And I went there with the same hopes and desperation.

But I couldn’t muster up the courage to say more than “Do you want to dance?”

Finally, I said “eff it”. It’s not going to happen. Stop beating yourself up.

And I decided to have fun, instead.

I danced with my friends and had a good time. Just focusing on the moment.

I chatted with the cute girl at the concession stand and joked around. I danced some more.

It was liberating not to be carrying the weight of “I’ve got to find a girlfriend” anymore. That was one of the best dances I went to.

I had a great time.

And the cute girl at the concession stand asked me if I wanted to walk her home.

I was dumbfounded!

It wouldn’t have happened if I had tried to do it.

It was because I wasn’t trying. I was having fun and being myself. And not putting any pressure on myself to do anything.

Guess what? I got her phone number, too.